Whats the similarity between getting a bl*wjob from an 80 year old and walking the tightrope ?
In both cases you really dont want to look down !
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Pr*stitute in the police station.
The desk officer sayes "so when did you realise you were raped ?"
She replies ... "when the cheque bounced !"
Q: What do you call a one-man quickie?
A: A yankee.
A guy walks into a pharmacy and buys a pack of condoms.
The cashier asks him if he wants a bag.
He responds, "No, she's not that ugly."
A man walks into a clock shop where a beautiful woman is working.
He walks to the counter unzips his fly and pulls out his cock.
The woman screams "excuse me sir this is a CLOCK SHOP".
I know replied the man "I want two hands and a face put on this".
The lesbians next door bought me a Rolex for my birthday.
I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch...
Q: When does a pedophile go to sleep?
A: When the big hand touches the small one.
Vote:
The man comes home drunken but he goes to the piggery instead of the house.
He lies down, he takes a look at the pig, caresses it and says: "Oh, it's you, darling, naked again?"
At a government affair, the wives of four world leaders are chatting about how people refer to a penis in their countries.
The wife of Tony Blair says in England people call it a gentleman, because it stands up when women are entering.
The wife of Boris Yeltsin says in Russia you call it a patriot, because you never know if it will hit you on the front or on the back side.
The wife of Chirac says in France you call it a curtain, because it goes down after the act.
With great resignation, the wife of Clinton says in the USA you call it a rumor, because it goes from mouth to mouth…
Superman was flying around Metropolis when he noticed Wonder Woman lying totally naked, spread-eagle on her bed.
He thought, "Hmm... I could fly through that open window and be in and out before she even knew what hit her!"
With nothing more than a rustle of the curtains, Superman was on his way, thinking, "Wow! She is really tight!"
Back in her bedroom, Wonder Woman sat up asking, "What in Amazonia was that?!"
The Invisible Man said, "I don't know, but my asshole sure hurts!"