Researchers once tried to measure Chuck Norris' IQ, but found that numbers don't count that high.
If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
If Chuck Norris were to get into a fight with another Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris would win.
Chuck Norris is so sharp you can cut yourself just by looking at him.
Darth Vader wears a Chuck Norris mask for Halloween.
When somebody else yawns, Chuck Norris does not.
Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murders in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.
Chuck Norris cut his scissors using his hair.
All men are born equal. Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
Chuck Norris can stand the rain...