Chuck Norris doesn't need to breathe, the oxygen comes to him.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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Chuck Norris made Newton write 3 laws of physics just to break them... he was having a boring weekend.
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Chuck Norris can pour a pancake so thin that it only has one side.
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When Chuck Norris steps on a crack he breaks another persons mother's back.
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Kim Kardashian use to be 8 feet tall until Chuck Norris uppercut both her feet and that is why her ass is so big.
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After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris.
It was more "humane".
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When taking the SAT, write "Chuck Norris" for every answer.
You will score a 1600.
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Chuck Norris' tears would save lives, if he'd cry.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a bullet proof vest because the bullets wouldn't dare hit him.
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