Chuck Norris sends his beard clippings to the police.
They are used as bullet proof vests.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a GPS: The World orients itself to where he wants to go.
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Chuck Norris can make a stop sign say go.
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E=mc squared.
E multiplied by mc squared=Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick.
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The cops pulled Chuck Norris over for going 55 miles per hour on the freeway.
But since he wasn't in a car, they had to give him a ticket for jaywalking.
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Everybody loves Raymond. Except for Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't cry.
His eyes sweat.
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Chuck Norris, Mr T and Arnold Swieznigger died in a plane crash they got to heavens door way and god asked them what there business is. Arnold replied "I want to be your right hand man".
Mr T said "I wanna be your left hand man".
Chuck Norris said "get the fuck out of my chair".
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Chuck Norris knows what Willis is talkin' bout- Bbrandon Delariva.
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Chuck Norris doesn't run out of patience, patience runs out of him from fear of a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris shot a man to death with an unloaded nerf gun.
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