Chuck Norris doesn't have an ESC key on his computer, no one ever escapes.
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There used to be a street named after Chuck Norris, but it was changed because nobody crosses Chuck Norris and lives.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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Chuck Norris was the fourth wise man, who gave baby Jesus the gift of beard, which he carried with him until he died.
The other three wise men were enraged by the preference that Jesus showed to Chuck's gift, and arranged to have him written out of the bible.
All three died soon after of mysterious roundhouse-kick related injuries.
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Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
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Chuck Norris has never used a question mark in his life.
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Chuck Noris can make grapes from wine.
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Chuck Norris tried to shave with Darth Vaders's light saber, but the light went out as soon as it realized Chuck Norris was there.
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Chuck Norris lit a match and ended the Cold War.
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Everything King Midas touches turnes to gold.
Everything Chuck Norris touches turns up dead.
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