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John: I didn't sleep with my wife before we were married. Did you?
Bob: I'm not sure. What was your wife's maiden name?
A man walked into the doctor's office and said: "Doc, I've eaten something that disagrees with me."
A voice from his stomach replies: "No you haven't."
How does a man show he's planning for the Future?
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
Wife: "No, you are not."
What is the difference between a man and a catfish?
One is a bottom-feeding scum-sucker and the other is a fish.
Q: What do you call a group of men found drowned in a wine vat?
A: The Grape-full Dead!
Why does a man prefer blondes?
Men always like intellectual company.
Men are like.....Laxatives.
They irritate the shit out of you.
A man parachuted out of an aeroplane and his chute did not open.
As he headed for almost certain death, he saw a man coming up toward him through the air from the ground.
As the man zoomed by, the man headed down asked, "Do you know anything about parachutes?"
The man replied in passing, "No, you know anything about gas stoves?"