Chuck Norris' driver's license simply shows his shoe size.
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When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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Uri Geller bends spoons with his mind, Chuck Norris bends minds with a spoon.
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Chuck Norris is the greatest thing, period, despite his invention of sliced bread.
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Chuck Norris can fall up.
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Chuck Norris broke the law once.
It still isn’t fixed.
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Who do you think would win in a fight? Godzilla or King Kong
Neither, Chuck Norris doesn't let his pets fight!
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Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
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Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
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Chuck Norris grabs Donald Trump by the pussy.
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