Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player of all-time because Chuck Norris never played.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
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Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
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When Superman wants vacation time it has to be approved by Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not submit to homeland security, he IS homeland security.
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Chuck Norris doesn't age, he levels up!
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Chuck Noris once got his blood tested.
His blood type was AK-47.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice and Chuck Norris will roundhouse kick me for being stupid.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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Chuck Norris was the reason the Titanic sank.
The iceberg was just a cover-up.
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