Ozzy Osbourne once accidentally bit the head off a live bat - Chuck Norris once deliberately bit the head off a live pterodactyl.
How long does it take Chuck Norris to get to Asia? 2 months... How does he get there? He walks.
Chuck Norris is so hard, he uses diamonds as stress balls.
Climate change is just Chuck Norris playing with the thermostat.
Chuck Norris didn't sign the Declaration of Idependence because he wanted the British to think they had chance.
Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
Chuck Norris can make a robot bleed.
Chuck Norris was once shot. The bullet died.
Chuck Norris is not impressed with your facts...
When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet. Water gets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris has only used the 'Total Gym' twice in his life. When his eyes are open - and when they are closed.