An Italian and a Greek were arguing about which country added the most to civilization.
The Greek: We built the Acropolis!
the Italian: We built the colloseum!
The Greek: We gave the world advanced math!
the Italian: We made the Roman Empire!
The Greek: We discovered sex!
the Italian: And we introduced it to women!
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Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common?
A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
Heaven was getting a bit crowded, so Peter began giving quizzes to see who should get in.
A man ascended to heaven, and came to the gates “Who was the first man?” asked Peter.
“Adam.”
“That’s correct. Enter.”
Soon another man came along.
“Where did Adam and Eve live?”
”Eden.”
“That’s correct. Enter.”
Then Mother Theresa came along.
“Ooh, I’ll have to give you a hard one. What did Eve say when she met Adam for the first time?”
“Mmm, that IS a hard one.”
“Enter.”
This guy said send me a naked pic, so I sent him a picture of my kitty.
She's not wearing any clothes.
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Testicules.
Testicules who?
Pillow for penis .
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Chuck Norris sleeps with every woman on the planet once a month... and they bleed for a week.
"Dad, whats the difference between a p*ssy and a c*nt ?" young son ask.
"Look at this," says dad, as he lifts the sheets on his naked sleeping mother, "that's a p*ssy son."
"Its wonderful dad, can I touch it?"
"NO son," says dad, "If you touch the p*ssy you'll wake the c*nt up!"
A dick has a sad life.
His hair's a mess, his family is nuts, his neighbor's an asshole, his bestfriend's a pussy, and his owner beats him.
Pr*stitute in the police station.
The desk officer sayes "so when did you realise you were raped ?"
She replies ... "when the cheque bounced !"
Q: Who did little Johnny see when he snuck into the church late one night?
A: Pastor Bedtime.
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