Joke #5893

Knock Knock Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? I thought you said you would never forget.
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has 49.99 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: black humor

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There's some soldiers in Vietnam. And they've been pinned down in their trench for days. Finally one guy says,"Fuck this I really have to pee guys. Lay down covering fire, i'll run into the bushes. When I'm done I'll give a signal and you can give me covering fire while i run back." So they lay down fire, and he runs off into the jungle. But he's gone for a good half an hour, they're finally convinced that he's been murdered by Charlie when they hear the signal. So they lay down fire and he sprints out of the jungle and leaps back into the trench. So obviously they're pretty confused. They ask "what the hell took you so long man?" The guy says, "well i was just finishing up my business, when I met this beautiful Vietnamese girl, and we just started having sex right there. we did every position imaginable, missionary, doggy style, everything. It was great." One of his buddies asks "Well did you get any head?" He replies "There was no head."
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has 71.34 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, sex
There are only two things to worry about: Either you are well, or you are sick. If you are well, then there is nothing to worry about. But if your sick, there are two things to worry about. Either you will get well, or you will die. If you get well, there is nothing to worry about. But if you die, there are only two things to worry about. Either you will go to heaven or hell. If you go to heaven, there is nothing to worry about. But if you go to hell, you'll be so damn busy shaking hands with friends, you won't have time to worry.
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has 74.40 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, health, heaven
When Chuck Norris makes a burrito, its main ingredient is real toes.
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has 29.43 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Chuck Norris, death, food, morbid
An Asian walks into a McDonald's and says, "I'll Have An Eggroll and Some Fry Rye." "I'm sorry sir we don't serve that. Would you like anything else?" "I have quarter pounder. And when would you like to pick that up...Hiroshima!"
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has 21.38 % from 157 votes. More jokes about: asian, black humor, communication, food
What's the best way to pick up a Jewish girl? Bring a dustpan to Auschwitz
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has 30.92 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Why was the cannibal looking peeky? Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, dog, food
A man answers the telephone to find a doctor from the hospital's emergency room on the other end. "Sir," explains the doctor, "Your wife was in a serious car accident. I have bad news and good news." The man, taken back, asks hesitatntly, "What's the bad news?" "The bad news is your wife has lost all use of both arms and both legs. She will likely be on a respirator for the rest of her life." "Heavens, Doc, what's the good news?" The doctor replies, "I'm kidding. She's dead."
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has 76.67 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: black humor
I'm thinking about opening a summer camp for jewish kids with adhd and dyslexia, I'm gonna call it Concentration camp.
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has 20.84 % from 144 votes. More jokes about: black humor
Q: What's the difference between Santa Claus and Jews? A: Santa comes down the chimney.
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has 39.91 % from 123 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, jewish, morbid, Santa
Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: black humor