What's the warmest organ in a dead woman's body? My dick.
Q: What has two legs and bleeds? A: Half a cat.
A demon died and was asked by god what he wanted to become in his next life. The demon said "I wish to become good in my next life. I want to be as pure and white as an angel and also have angel wings... But I still want to drink blood." So god turned him into a maxi pad.
What's the difference between a leprechaun and gonorrhea? One's a cunning runt.
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
What's grosser than gross? A bloody mary with curly, brittle hairs in it!
An old man and a young man work together in an office. The old man always has a jar of peanuts on his desk, and the young man really loves peanuts. One day, while the old man is away from his desk, the young man yields to temptation and scarfs down over half of the contents of the jar. When the old man returns, the young man feels guilty and confesses to his crime. "Don't worry, son. I never eat the peanuts anyway," the old man replies. "Since I lost my teeth, all I can do is gum chocolate off the M&M's."
Q: What did Jeffrey Dahmer do after dumping his boyfriend? A: He wiped.
What's gross? Farting in the bathtub. What's grosser than that? Catching the bubbles with your teeth.
Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.
A guy is going down on a prostitute. During the process he pulls out a piece of corn. Mildly disgusted, he tries to forget about it and continues. Then he finds a chunk of carrot and a pea, and he says, "I think I am going to be sick." The whore looks up and says, "That's what the last guy said!"