Chuck Norris never actually moves.
He merely rotates the earth with his feet.
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Chuck Norris doesn't sweat.
He forces the air around him to cry and uses it's tears to cool himself.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris doesn't actually write books.
The words assemble themselves out of fear.
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You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right?
Well he's currently making his third attempt.
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Chuck Norris put humpty dumpty back together again, only to roundhouse kick him in the face.
Later Chuck dined on scrambled eggs with all the king's horses and all the king's men.
The king himself could not attend for unspecified reasons.
Coincidentally, the autopsoy revealed the cause of death to be a roundhouse kick to the face.
There is only one King.
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Chuck Norris won a marathon on a treadmill.
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Chuck Norris watched the first season of "24" in 5 hours.
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Right angles used to be called wrong angles until Chuck said, "I don't see anything wrong with them."
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Chuck norris can kick you in the back of your face.
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Chuck Norris once stayed at the Hotel California and was allowed to check out... and leave.
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