Chuck Norris has no freezer. He stares at food and they freeze with fear.
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Chuck Norris can strike the same lightning twice.
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Chuck Norris once rolled a dice.
It landed on tails.
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Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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Chuck Norris can hit you so hard your blood will bleed.
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Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
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We live in an expanding universe.
All of it is trying to get away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris will never die.
The Grim Reaper is too scared to come and claim him.
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Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
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Chuck Norris can split the atom.
With his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris got into Cambridge... without any qualifications.
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