Joke #5951

My girlfriend likes to pretend to be a 14 year old when we have sex. I don't get it she will be 14 in a few years anyway.
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has 52.89 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: sex

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An elderly gentleman went to see his doctor and asked for a prescription of Viagra. The doctor said, “That’s no problem. How many do you want?” The man answered, “Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces.” The doctor said, “That won’t do you any good.” The elderly gentleman said, “That’s all right. I don’t need them for sex anymore as I am over 90 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don’t pee on my shoes.”
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, old people, sex, viagra
‘I was involved in an extremely good example of oral contraception two weeks ago. I asked a girl to go to bed with me, and she said “No”.’ Woody Allen
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has 45.68 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What do a woman and a bar have in common? A: Liquor in the front, Poker in the back.
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has 59.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: bar, dirty, game, sex, women
Sex is when a guys communication, enters a girls information, to increase the population, for a younger generation, do you get the information... or do you need a demonstration.
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has 65.72 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, poems, sex, women
Mother Teaches Her Child To Go To The Bathroom Mother taught her son to go to the bathroom by the numbers: 1. Open your fly. 2. Take out your equipment. 3. Pull back the skin. 4. Do your business. 5. Let the skin forward. 6. Stow your equipment. 7. Close your fly. She did check on him often to see if he had learned the lesson, and heard 1,2,3,4,5,6,7. She was very happy until one day she checked and heard 3-5, 3-5, 3-5.
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has 79.34 % from 2298 votes. More jokes about: business, sex
A man and a woman were on a nude beach when a wasp flew into the woman's vagina. In a rush the guy pulled on his shorts, wrapped a towel around the woman, and ran to the hospital. When they got there the doctor said, "The only way I can think to get the wasp out is to slather some honey on my penis and lure it out." The doctor then offered his services for a mere $50. After a long pause, the couple agreed. The doctor happily slathered on some honey and went in. After a couple of thrusts the husband said, "Hey, what the hell is going on?" The doctor says, "Change of plans I'm going to drown the bastard."
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has 56.76 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, doctor, marriage, sex
Man, to woman, ‘Am I the first man you ever made love to?’ Woman, ‘You might be. Now you come to mention it, your face does look familiar.’
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has 65.11 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: sex
A small boy was awoken in the middle of the night by strange noises from his parents’ room, and he decided to investigate. As he entered their bedroom, he was shocked to see his mom and dad shagging for all they were worth. “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing?” “It’s ok,” his father replied. “Your mother wants a baby, that’s all.” The small boy, excited at the prospect of a new baby brother, was pleased and went back to bed with a smile on his face. Several weeks later, the little boy was walking past the bathroom and was shocked to discover his mother giving oral gratification to his father. “DAD!” he shouted. “What are you doing now?” “Son, there’s been a change of plan,” his father replied. “Your mother did want a baby, but now she wants a BMW.”
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has 84.99 % from 3571 votes. More jokes about: baby, car, dad, sex
Question master: ‘In the Garden of Eden, what were the first words Eve said to Adam?’ Contestant: ‘Gosh, that’s a hard one!’ Question master: ‘Well done. Two points.’
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has 53.01 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: sex
What do a gynecologist, and a pizza delivery guy have in common? They both can smell it, but they can't eat it!
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has 67.14 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: life, sex