Two nuns are sitting on a park bench.
A man in a trench coat runs up and flashes them.
The first nun has a stroke.
The second nun tried but she couldn't reach.
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Surprise sex is the best thing to wake up to... unless your in prison.
Pr*stitute in the police station.
The desk officer sayes "so when did you realise you were raped ?"
She replies ... "when the cheque bounced !"
Yo mama so fat when she uses a space shuttle as a vibrator.
Q: What do the Mafia and a pussy have in common?
A: One slip of the tongue, and you're in deep shit.
A mother was arguing with her teenager and finally she reaches breaking point and blurts out, " I should swallowed you when i had the chance!"
A woman came to his doctor with a left knee that was shot through.
The doctor asked her: "What does it mean? Why did you shoot accurately your left knee?"
The woman tells him only: "Sorry, but, you doctor, have told me that the heart is located two thumbs under my left breast."
Vote:
Me - Can you go to your moms room?
Friend - Yeah, why?
Me - I left my pants in there.
Friend - Fuck you!
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period?
A. Finger painting.
Vote:
I knew I was gonna get along with my mother's boyfriend just fine.
Cause when we met, I said to him "Hi Mr. Bob, How are you doing?"
He said: "Oh you don't have to Mr. Bob me, just call me motherfucker".
A young woman was having a physical examination and was very embarrassed because of a weight problem.
As she removed her last bit of clothing, she blushed.
"I'm so ashamed, and dirty Doctor," she said, "I guess I let myself go."
The physician was checking hers eyes and ears.
"Don't feel ashamed, Miss.
You don't look that bad."
"Do you really think so, Doctor?" she asked.
The doctor held a tongue depressor in front of her face and said, "Of course. Now just open your mouth and say moo."