When Chuck Norris puts toast in the toaster it comes out bread.
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If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
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Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.
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Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
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Chuck Norris dosn't have a star on Hollywood Blvd he has a constellation.
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Chuck Norris Streams Netflix on his VCR.
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When Chuck Norris falls in water, Chuck Norris doesn't get wet.
Water gets Chuck Norris.
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The tides don't change because of the moon; the sea just wants to be as far away as possible from Chuck Norris.
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Justin Beiber screeched like a high-pitched girl the time he saw Chuck Norris.
His voice is still up there today.
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There is a plaque laid next to the remnants of the Titanic which reads, "Only Chuck Norris is unsinkable"
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Chuck Norris made Ellen Degeneres straight.
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