"Knock Knock?" "Who's there?" "Europe." "Europe who?" "No you're a poo."
Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather? A. Drizzle
We have so many nationalities. It's gotten to the point now that you can go into any fast food place, and you can find out what kind of neighborhood you're in just by the ethnic group that works there. It's like, if Chinese people work there, you're in a Chinese neighborhood; if black people work there, you're in a black neighborhood; if white people work there, then you're in Utah.
Q: What's the distinction between getting a divorce and getting circumcised? A: When you get a divorce, you dispose of the entire prick.
Who was the fastest runner? Adam. He was first in the human race.
Mexicans cross the border 1...2...and 4 at one time, never 3. why? Because the sign says - no tres passing.
Boss: "This is the third time you've been late for work this week. Do you know what that means?" Me: "That it's only Wednesday."
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried. The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
Life is like a box of chocolates: A lot of people can't stand the dark ones.
Two eggs were kissing on a bed when the female egg said, "I have to go change. I'll be back in a minute." Five minutes later, the the female egg walked out in a slinky "egg"lige, rubbing her hands up and down her smooth, oval-shaped body. Instantly, the male egg slapped his hands on the top of his head, covering it completely. "What are you doing?," the female egg asked. He replied, "The last time I was this hard, someone cracked me on the head with a spoon."
My grandfather once told me "your generation is too reliant on technology." So I replied "no, your generation is too reliant on technology!" Then I disconnected his life support.