Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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Chuck Norris can make same magnet polarities stick together.
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Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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Pluto is actually an orbiting group of British soldiers from the American Revolution who entered space after the Chuck gave them a roundhouse kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris used to date Hurricane Katrina.
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Chuck Norris died 20 years ago, Death just hasn't built up the courage to tell him yet.
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Chuck Norris can do push-ups in a sit-up position.
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Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.
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China lets Chuck Norris search for porn on Google.
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Chuck Norris invented Kentucky Fried Chicken's famous secret recipe, with eleven herbs and spices.
But nobody ever mentions the twelfth ingredient: Fear.
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Chuck Norris sends paper letters through email.
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