When Chuck Norris eats teddy grahams, he craps out grizzly bears.
Chuck Norris doesn't need photos, he takes mental pictures.
Q: How many Chuck Norris\' does it take to screw in a lightbulb? \r\nA: None. Chuck Norris can see in the dark.
There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.
Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem. He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion. The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
Chuck Norris once drank a Red Bull and the can grew wings.
Chuck Norris can bend light with a roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris cannot only accelerate beyond the speed of light. He can also accelerate beyond the speed of dark.
Chuck Norris does not understand any phrase that begins with "if at first you don't succeed."
Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.