Ckuck Norris doesn't flush the toilet...he scares the shit out of it.
When nature calls Chuck Norris hangs up.
Chuck Norris doesn't tell lies. He changes facts.
Chuck Norris saved 100% on his car insurance by switching to Geico.
The wind is Chuck Norris breathing.
Fire trucks and ambulances pull to the shoulder when chuck Norris drives by.
Chuck Norris never wears steel toe boots, they make his roundhouse kicks softer.
Chuck Norris likes his steaks still mooing.
Chuck Norris's urine was the main ingredient for balco's designer steroids. Therefore, Chuck Norris is actually the all-time single-season home run king.
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a particle accelerator to collide atoms, he just smashes his fists together.