Q: What do blondes and railroad tracks have in common?
A: They've both been laid all over America.
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An Australian guy walks into a bar with a crocodile under his arm.
He asks the bartender if he will give him free drinks if he shows he can put his penis inside the crocs mouth for 15 seconds without it getting bit off.
The bartender agrees.
The guy opens the crocs mouth and puts his penis inside it; the croc gently closes his mouth and after 15 seconds the Australian hits him over the head with a bottle, causing the croc to open his mouth and let the guy withdraw his penis.
The bartender starts serving the free drinks to the Austr alian and then tells everyone in the bar "If anyone else can do that then I will give them free drinks also".
There is a pause and then a blonde woman calls out "ok, I will do it but please don't hit me so hard over my head with the bottle".
Q: What's a blonde's favourite wine?
A: "Daaaddy, I want to go to Miaaami!"
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
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Q: How do you plant dope?
A: Bury a blonde.
God tried to make everyone different. He got bored by the time he got to China.
Q: Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A: You can park in the handicap zone.
Q: Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking when you slap it...
A cop pulls over a blonde for speeding.
The cop gets out of his car and asks the blonde for her license.
"You cops should get it together. One day you take away my license, and the next day you ask me to show it."
Q: Why is Santa always so jolly when he comes to the UK?
A: He can claim Gift Relief.