People say "bless you" when you sneeze because Chuck Norris might catch your soul. It's a myth. Chuck Norris can take your soul whenever he wants.
The Titanic didn't sink by an ice burg, Chuck Norris was doing the back stroke across the Atlantic.
Chuck Norris's GPS still can't find him.
Chuck Norris and Mr. T walked into a bar. The bar was instantly destroyed, as that level of awesome cannot be contained in one building.
Giraffes were invented when Chuck Norris laid an uppercut to a horse.
Apple, Microsoft and Sony, among others, strive to invent the most cool device to please Chuck Norris, the fail all the time.
If Chuck Norris were a calendar, every month would be named Chucktober, and every day he'd kick your ass.
There are no such things as Chuck Norris haters...just people with short lives.
Chuck Norris can run so fast he can cause time travel.
Evolution ended the day Chuck Norris was born.
Chuck Norris doesn't m*sturbate, he r*pes his hand.