Chuck Norris can gargle with honey.
Water can drown if Chuck Norris stays underwater for too long.
Chuck Norris can talk with his mouth closed.
Chuck Norris doesn't need a stapler, he puts the paper between his fingers and they just stick.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an Ipod, he has an Ifist.
Chuck Norris is reading all these jokes and thinking to himself: They make me sound like a pussy.
Chuck Norris can win a football game by spiking a tennis ball over a volleyball net.
Chuck Norris sleeps with a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris can travel a negative distance.
Italy looks like a boot... you know who owns that boot.
Chuck Norris understood the ending of Lost.