Chuck Norris froze hell.
Chuck Norris rejects your reality and substitutes it with his fist.
While vacationing in France, Chuck Norris went out for a casual bike ride and accidentally won the Tour de France.
Chuck Norris doesn't Tivo television programs. They come on when HE wants them to.
You can't win a starring contest with Chuck Norris becuase when you look in to his eyes you see hell starring right back at you.
Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
Chuck Norris traveled around the world in 60 milliseconds.
Chuck Norris's Birthday is October 32th.
Chuck Norris goes on Jeopardy and doesn't answer in the form of a question.
Chuck Norris once gave a man an apple. Today that man is known as Steve Jobs.
Chuck Norris updates his DNA every 5 minutes.