Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn.
He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat.
He could only take one across at a time.
He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn.
How did he get them all safely over the stream?
He took the goose over first and came back.
Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back.
Next he took the corn over.
He came back alone and took the goose.
A hunter goes into the woods to hunt a bear.
He carries his trusty 22-gauge rifle with him.
After a while, he spots a very large bear, takes aim, and fires.
When the smoke clears, the bear is gone.
A moment later, the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “No one shoots at me and gets away with it. You have two choices: I can rip your throat out and eat you, or you can drop your trousers, bend over, and I’ll [insert appropriate colloquialism for sodomy here].”
The hunter decides that anything is better than death, so he drops his trousers and bends over; and the bear does what he said he would do.
After the bear has left, the hunter pulls up his trousers and staggers back into town.
He’s pretty mad.
He buys a much larger gun and returns to the forest.
He sees the same bear, aims, and fires.
When the smoke clears, the bear is gone.
A moment later the bear taps the hunter on the shoulder and says, “You know what to do.”
Afterward, the hunter pulls up his trousers, crawls back into town, and buys a bazooka.
Now he’s really mad.
He returns to the forest, sees the bear, aims, and fires.
The force of the bazooka blast knocks him flat on his back.
When the smoke clears, the bear is standing over him and says, “You’re not doing this for the hunting, are you?”
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
What are four hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A receding hare line.
How come sharks don’t attack lawyers?
From professional courtesy.
A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails.
A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied "I don't know, it all happened so fast."
Why did the whale like the diver?
Because he had flippers.
What did the idiot call his pet zebra?
Spot!
Cow: "Why don't you shoo those flies?"
Bull: "I ll let them go barefoot!"