Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom? A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
A man goes to the circus. After the show he speaks to the manager and asks for a job. "Alright, what can you do?", the manager asks. "I can do great bird impressions", the man replies. "Pssh, a lot of people can do that". "Oh well", the man says and flies away.
Q: What's gray on the inside and clear on the outside? A: An elephant in a plastic bag.
You might kill two birds with one stone, but Chuck Norris kills two stones with one bird.
What do you call an unusual rabbit? A rare hare.
What did the male squirrel say when the female attacked him... Get away from my nuts.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
There are bats hanging of a branch upside down, all except one. Two bats comment: "What's happened to this one? I don't know, two minutes ago he seemed normal and then he fainted.
An ant and an elephant share a night of romance. The next morning the ant wakes up and the elephant is dead. "Shit!" says the ant. "One night of passion and I will spend the rest of my life digging a grave!"
How are skunks able to avoid danger? By using their instinks and common scents.
A snail starts a slow climb up the trunk of an apple tree. He is watched by a sparrow who can't help laughing and eventually says "Don't you know there aren't any apples on the tree yet?" "Yes," said the snail, "but there will be by the time I get up there."