If Chuck Norris drinks too much, he doesn't throw up, he throws down!
Chuck Norris gets a the highest score possible on Wii Fit by sitting down.
Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
If you want a list of Chuck Norri's enemies, just check the extinct species list.
If Chuck Norris is after you, don't bother killing yourself, he'll pull you down from heaven and kill you again.
Scientists believe that a giant meteor killed off the dinosaurs. This is true, if you can consider Chuck Norris to be a giant meteor.
Chuck Norris has only played Pacman twice, and beat the game both times. The ghosts were too afraid to leave their little box to try to stop him.
If you want to commit suicide, all you need to do is say,"Chuck Norris is a loser."
When Chuck Norris drives a Lamborghini, people assume the Llamborghini is compensating for something.
Arnold Schwarzenegger always says he'll be back. But Chuck Norris always handles things the first time