Do you know why the Earth's spinning ? Because Chuck Norris is running on it.
All men are born equal. Chuck Norris was just born more equal than everyone else.
Chuck Norris has a black belt in every language.
Chuck Norris has two speeds: Walk and Kill.
After much debate, President Truman decided to drop the atomic bomb on Hiroshima rather than the alternative of sending Chuck Norris. It was more "humane".
Chuck Norris can choke you to life.
The original title for Alien vs. Predator was Alien and Predator vs Chuck Norris. The film was cancelled shortly after going into preproduction. No one would pay nine dollars to see a movie fourteen seconds long.
Chuck Norris, not Duke, stole the recipie for Bush's Baked Beans.
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
The ground hog only pokes his head out to check for Chuck Norris.
There was no volcanic eruption in Iceland - Chuck Norris opened the BBQ season.