Chuck Norris sleeps until he tells the sun to get up.
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Chuck Norris uses the lethal injection to have a 5min nap.
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Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one.
When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face.
We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.
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Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King and got one.
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Where does the devil go when he dies?
He goes to Chuck Norris for an eternity of roundhouse kicks.
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In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
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Charlie Sheen is a drug, it will melt your face and kill you.
Chuck Norris had two 8-Balls of Sheen and is now suing for false advertising.
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Chuck Norris keeps his friends close and his enemies closer.
Close enough to drop them with one round house kick to the face.
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Chuck Norris can eat food while his mouth is closed.
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Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
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There is no such thing as an endangered species, they are Chuck's likes and dislikes.
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