Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF!
Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
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When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat.
The weights do.
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Chuck Norris asked his script writer for more dialogue and the script writer said "Chuck you mean more grunting?"
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In the beginning there was nothing...then Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked that nothing in the face and said "Get a job".
That is the story of the universe.
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Scooby Doo prefers Norris snacks'.
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When Clark Kent goes into a phonebooth, Superman comes out.
When Chuck Norris goes into a phone booth, it explodes and Chuck walks away.
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Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.
Chuck Norris can turn carbon paper into diamonds.
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Chuck Norris sent a e-mail through the postal service.
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Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes.
Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
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Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.
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