Chuck Norris found the Hidden Valley Ranch.
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It's not the fall that kills you, it's Chuck Norris waiting for you at the bottom.
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Chuck Norris was banned from going to "housewarming" parties because he kept burning them down.
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If you are stuck on a test and you don't know the answer to a question, write in Chuck Norris.
The answer is always Chuck Norris.
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The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Chuck Norris does not need pressure cookers.
The food cooks itself out of pressure.
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There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul.
Well it does exist and Chuck Norris finds it delicious.
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In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
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The phrase 'dead ringer' refers to someone who sits behind Chuck Norris in a movie theater and forgets to turn their cell phone off.
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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Chuck Norris once threw out the first pitch at a NASCAR race.
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