Chuck Norris once beat the sun at a staring contest.
Chuck Norris watches Saturday Night Live on Friday.
Chuck Norris puts the fun in funeral.
Thunder is caused by Chuck Norris rubbing the stubble on his chin.
When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears. Candyman ain't stupid.
Chuck Norris uses black holes to clean his dishes.
Chuck Norris was asked to star in Night of the Living Dead but filming was ended after the zombies were to afraid to be roundhouse kicked in the face.
Lawsuit commercials for personal injury are quite common with things like accidents and medication; however they never mention Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris bought out the Walt Disney Company with a car-wash token.
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself
Chuck Norris once created a flamethrower by urinating into a lighter.