The Total Gym uses Chuck Norris to stay in shape.
When Chuck Norris finishes his workout, the gym takes a break.
Chuck Norris' pulse-rate is measured on the Richter Scale.
Chuck Norris was once tested for steroids. The results came back positive. When confronted with this information, Chuck Norris chuckled and said, "Of course, what do you think they make steroids from?"
Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
A few guys tried to follow Chuck Norris during a light workout while he was vacationing in Hawaii. It's now called the Ironman Triathlon.
When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat. The weights do.
If Chuck Norris had to he could give CPR to himself.
What do you do for exercise? I lift weights. What do you do for cardio? I lift weights faster.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.