Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?" Chuck Norris is your daddy.
Count Dracula once bit Chuck Norris and immediately turned vegetarian.
Chuck Norris made a Happy Meal cry.
Chuck Norris isn't a good shot, his bullets just know better than to miss.
Bruce Lee is the only person that lived from a roundhouse kick from Chuck Norris. He died a year later.
Chuck Norris can in fact eat water.
huck Norris was supposed to star in the tv show 'Man vs Wild', but the network did not want kids thinking 'lava is safe to eat'.
Little Johnny comes home and tells his daddy, "Dad, tomorrow there's a special 'Adults' evening' at school. Daddy is surprised, "Really? Special?" "Yes," nods Johnny, "it will be just you, the teacher, the headmaster and two police officers."
While my brother-in-law was tapping away on his home computer, his ten-year-old daughter sneaked up behind him. Then she turned and ran into the kitchen, squealing to the rest of the family: "I know Daddy's password! I know Daddy's password!" "What is it?" her sisters asked eagerly. Proudly she replied: "Asterisk, asterisk, asterisk, asterisk!"
Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.