The Earth was flat until Chuck Norris looked in it's direction...then it rolled up into a ball.
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Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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There are no races, only countries of people Chuck Norris has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
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Scissors are told not to run with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can speak Spanish in three different languages.
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Chuck Norris caught a bullet with the same gun he fired it from.
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Chuck Norris once walked in the opposite direction in the Running of the Bulls.
The bulls turned around and ran for their lives.
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If you stab Chuck Norris, your knife will bleed.
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Chuck Norris doesn't check under his bed for monsters, monsters check on top of the bed to see if Chuck Norris is sleeping.
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When Chuck Norris is put in a straight jacket to be contained, he doesn't go insane, the jacket does.
NOBODY tries to contain Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once leaned on the Tower of Pisa...
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