Chuck Norris can light a fire by rubbing two ice-cubes together.
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Once chuck norris and time had race.
Result: The time is still running.
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My insurance policy says: "Does not cover acts of God, or Chuck Norris."
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You know how they say if you die in your dream then you will die in real life?
In reality, if you dream of death then Chuck Norris will find you and kill you.
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If Chuck Norris were an Adam's Apple, he'd be in your throat right now.
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Chuck Norris invented the spoon because it's too easy to kill someone with a knife or fork.
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Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
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Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
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Chuck Norris walked into a bar.
"OUCH!" said the bar.
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Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
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Bacons' favorite smell is Chuck Norris.
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