Q: What do you get if you mix a rabbit and a snake? A: A jump rope!
Q: What did the bird say after his cage fell apart? A: "Cheap, cheap!"
What's a pet's favorite day? Saint Petrick's Day.
The more people I meet, the more I like my cat.
Why did the frog cross the road? To see what the chicken was doing.
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots? A: Bunny farts!
I took a day off from work to play golf. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, "Ribbit. 9-iron." That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a 9-iron and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazed, I picked up the frog and asked where we should go next. "Ribbit. Vegas." We went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. "Ribbit. Roulette." We went up to the roulette table, and I won big. I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. "Ribbit. Kiss me." I figured, what the hell, and I kissed the frog. It turned into a 15-year-old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, your Honor, and if I'm lying, my name's not R. Kelly. Tweet Share
What's a cow's favorite moosical note? Beef-flat!
Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says: "Dam"
What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny? Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
One day three women went camping - a blonde, a brunette and a redhead. The blonde suddenly had to go to the bathroom. She went into the woods with her toilet paper and did her business. While she was gone, the brunette and the redhead decided to play a joke on her. They skinned a rabbit and snuck up on the blonde, put the guts behind her and ran back to the campsite. Three minutes later they heard a scream. Then they waited another half an hour and the blonde came back, sweating. She said, "I had to poop so hard I pooped my guts out. But thanks to God and these two fingers, I stuffed them back in."