Q: What happens when you feed gun powder to a chicken?
A: Egg-splosion
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Chuck Norris once lost the remote, but maintained control of the TV by yelling at it in between bites of his "Filet of Child" sandwich.
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Chuck Norris likes his coffee half and half: half coffee grounds, half wood-grain alcohol.
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Fred collected lots of money from trick-or-treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate.
"You should give that money to charity," said the sales girl.
Fred thought for a moment and said, "No, I'll buy the chocolate.
You give the money to charity."
If you had fifteen cows and five goats what would you have?
Plenty of milk.
Chuck Norris does not eat.
Food understands that the only safe haven from Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.
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What's the only thing white girls swallow?
Starbucks.
The bean soup I'd ordered was mostly water.
I decided to tell the waitress.
"This soup is awful," I said.
"I know," she said. "I don't like bean soup either."
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Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks.
Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat.
The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, “You can’t eat your own sandwiches in here!”
The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.
The cake is a lie, Chuck Norris is THE TRUTH.
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What do you get when you eat a prune pizza?
Pizzeria!
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