What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
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A horse and a rabbit are playing in a meadow.
The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking.
He calls to the rabbit to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety.
The rabbit runs to the farm but the farmer can’t be found.
He drives the farmer’s Mercedes back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper.
He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the rabbit and horse were playing in the meadow again and the rabbit fell into the mud hole.
The rabbit yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer.
The horse said, “I think I can stand over the hole!”
So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, “Grab for my dick and pull yourself up.”
And the rabbit did and pulled himself to safety.
The moral of the story: If you are hung like a horse, you don’t need a Mercedes!
What do you call a cow on the barnyard floor?
Ground Beef.
Once, on the set of Walker Texas Ranger, a goat fell over dead.
Chuck Norris ran up to the goat and beard rubbed it back to life.
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Q: What is a thespian pony?
A: A little horse play
Why do female black widow spiders kill the males after mating?
To stop the snoring before it starts.
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple?
A: The Holocaust.
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What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy.
What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The moospaper.
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster?
A cockerpoodlemoo.