Joke #6692

Why are contipated folks unkind and rude? Cause they don't give a crap!
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has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: disgusting

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On a senior citizens bus tour, while the passengers were unloading to do some sightseeing, one elderly lady stopped and whispered in the driver's ear. She said, "Driver, I believe that I was sexually harassed!" The driver didn't think much of her complaint, but promised he would check into it soon. Later, that same day, as the passengers were unloading again, a second little old lady bent down and whispered in his ear, "Sir, I believe I was sexually harassed!" This time, he figured he'd better look into it. A few passengers had remained on the bus, and he decided to go back and question them, to find out if they knew what was going on. He found one little old man crawling along the bus floor beneath the seats and stooped down to question him. "Excuse me sir, could I help you?" The elderly man looked up and said, "Well, sonny you sure can. I've lost my toupee and I'm trying to find it..." The man continued, "I thought I'd located it twice, but they were parted in the middle, and mine is parted on the side!"
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has 71.74 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people, sex, travel
Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself. Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!" Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?" "Shut up and eat your corn flakes."
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has 36.51 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q: How can you tell if you have an overbite? A: When you're eating p**sy and it tastes like sh*t.
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has 49.61 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
A pretty blonde woman is driving down a country road when her car breaks down. She goes to the nearest farmhouse and knocks on the door. When the farmer answers, she says to him, "My car broke down! I don't know what to do! Can I stay here for the night until I can get some help tomorrow?" "Well," drawls the farmer, "you can stay here, but I don't want you messin' with my sons Jed and Luke." The blonde looks through the screen door and sees two men standing behind the farmer. "Okay," she says. After going to bed, the woman begins to get a little hot thinking about the two boys in the room next to her. So she quietly goes into their room and says, "Boys, how would you like for me to teach you the ways of the world?" They say, "Huh?" She says, "The only thing is, I don't want to get pregnant, so you have to wear these rubbers." She puts them on the boys, and the three of them go at it all night long. Forty years later Jed and Luke are sitting on the front porch, rocking back and forth. Jed says, "Luke? You remember that blonde woman that came by here forty years ago and showed us the ways of the world?" "Yeah," says Luke, "I remember." "Well, do you care if she gets pregnant?" asks Jed. "Nope," says Luke, "I reckon not." "Me neither," says Jed. "Let's take these things off."
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has 69.02 % from 185 votes. More jokes about: blonde, car, disgusting, travel, women
There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, life, marriage
Diner: Watch out! Your thumbs in my soup! Waiter: Don't worry, Sir, it's not that hot!
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: disgusting
Q. What do you call two lesbians with their period? A. Finger painting.
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has 42.51 % from 221 votes. More jokes about: dirty, disgusting, lesbian, sex
What do you give Mikey for his 18th birthday? A 90 year old woman, because Mikey will eat anything.
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has 17.25 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, disgusting, women
"Hey Jaeger, are you enjoying that apple?" "Sure, why do you ask." "I was going to offer you some toast." "How kind of... I'll accept." "Great, but what's toast without any butter Jaeger." "You're right about that!" "Well give me a few seconds, let me go scrape some off of your mother's teeth!"
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has 36.23 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, food, time