Q: Why is Chuck Norris still alive? A: Death remembers the feeling of the round-house kick.
Chuck Norris doesn't have to face the consequences, the consequences have to face Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris and Hitler were sitting in a cafe. Chuck said, "I don't like the juice." Hitler heard him wrong.
What time is it when Chuck Norris knocks on your door? Too Late!
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes webpages by blinking.
Chuck Norris is the 51st state.
After meeting with Chuck Norris' lawyer the UFC have changed their name from "Ultimate Fighting Championship" to simply "Fighting Championship."
Chuck Norris ate a sheet of paper, then later found an origami swan in the toilet.
After Chuck Norris sweats the sweat evaporates into the sky and forms what we call lightning.
Chuck Norris brings his fists to gunfights.
What came first, the chicken or the egg? Chuck Norris came first.