Chuck Norris was the reason E.T. went home.
The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
The results of a recent Harris Poll on "what's scarier" forced the Discovery channel to cancel Shark week in lieu of Chuck Norris week.
Solar flares are a myth... it's really Chuck Norris' flashlight.
When Chuck Norris wears a mood ring, it doesn't say whether he's happy or sad. It says he's Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris roundhouse kick is fast that he stopped the Flash.
Spider-man can crawl on walls and ceilings, Chuck Norris can crawl on water.
When Chuck Norris is in a crowded area, he doesn't walk around people. He walks through them
Do you know why the Earth's spinning ? Because Chuck Norris is running on it.
The Karate Kid killed caught a fly with two chopsticks, Chuck Norris killed a rhino with one.