Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
Chuck Norris doesn’t ride a horse, he uses his crotch to carry it.
Moses did not part the sea. Chuck Norris accidently did while sneezing.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. Ever.
Chuck Norris was once hospitalised, becaused he kicked his own ass.
One man said he got his butt whooped by Chuck Norris twice but he lied, because everyone knows you couldn't survive it once.
Chuck Norris jumps on hand grenades to shave his chest hair.
If you write the Death Note on Chuck Norris, the Death Note dies.
Chuck Norris doesn't blow out brithday candles, they surrender their flames willingly.
Chuck Norris’ PC doesn’t have a Recycle bin – because when Chuck Norris deletes something, there’s no chance of it coming back.