Chuck Norris uses battery acid for eye drops.
Chuck Norris once stared death in the face... Death pissed his pants.
Fear of Chuck Norris is called logic.
Chuck Norris once fell off a ladder, it immediately became a chair and caught him out of fear.
In 1666, Chuck Norris caught the Plague. The Plague learned its lesson, and has stayed away since then.
Chuck Norris once gave blood, it was put in cans and labelled 'Red Bull'.
If Chuck Norris told you to jump off a bridge, would you? Of course you would.
Santa Claus goes to the mall to sit on Chuck Norris' lap.
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
Willy Wonka gave an everlasting gobstopper to Chuck Norris. The flavor lasted 2.3 seconds.