What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?
A head hunter!
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A woman asked her lover, "Would you keep f*ck me that much even after marriage?
He replied, "Sure dear, if your husband had no objection."
Q: What do you call that useless piece of skin around a vagina?
A: A woman.
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Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.
A boy watches his mum and dad having s*x he ask, "What are you doing ?"
His dad replies, "Making you a brother or sister!"
Boy say, "Do her d*ggy style I want a puppy."
Little Johnny got caught stealing in a FOOD 4 LESS and runs away from the cops.
He runs towards his school and into his classroom.
He asks his teacher "May I please hide in your classroom because I got caught stealing".
The teacher says "Yes".
Little Johnny first hides under a desk, but no, the cops can see him there.
He then hides behind the door, but no, the cops can see him there.
So the teacher suggested to little Johnny "Hide under my long, fluffy skirt".
Little Johnny says "O.K."
The cops arrive and ask the teacher "Have you seen a little boy around here?".
The teacher replies "sorry, I haven't".
When the cops left the classroom the teacher says" Johnny, the cops are gone.you can come out now".
Little johnny replies" not yet, I got one more braid to go".
A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist.
The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window.
He immediately told her to undress.
After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh.
He asked her, “Do you know what I’m doing?”
“Yes,” she replied, “you’re checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities.”
“That is right,” said the doctor.
He then began to fondle her breasts.
“Do you know what I’m doing now?” he asked.
“Yes,” the woman said, “you’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer.”
“Correct,” replied the shady doctor.
Finally, he mounts his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her.
He asked, “Do you know what I’m doing now?”
“Yes,” she said. “You’re getting herpes; which is why I came here in the first place!”
Chuck Norris can't have children, because his dick wouldn't fit.
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Mr. Bear and Mr. Rabbit live in the same forest, but they don't like each other.
One day, they come across a golden frog who offers them three wishes each.
Mr. Bear wishes that all the other bears in the forest were female. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a crash helmet.
Mr. Bear's second wish is that all the bears in the neighboring forests were female as well. Mr. Rabbit wishes for a motorcycle.
Mr. Bear's final wish is that all the other bears in the world were female, leaving him the only male bear in the world.
Mr. Rabbit revs the engine of his motorcycle and says, "I wish that Mr. Bear was gay!" and rides off.
A professor told dirty jokes in class and the women wanted to protest it.
So they decided that in the next time that the professor will start with these kind of jokes they all will leave the class as a protest.
Somehow the professor heard about the plan.
In the next lecture, in the beginning of the lecture he said: "In Sweden a pr*stitute makes $2000 per night."
All the women stood up and started to leave the class.
So he shouted after them: "Where are you going? The plane to Sweden doesn't take off until the day after tomorrow."