Joke #6936

A guy was going to Texas and when he went on the train he said, "Ohh my god Texas chairs are really big." He went to a bar he asked for a bear and when the bar tender gave him the mug of bear the guy said, "Wooww Texas mugs are really big." Later he asked the bar tender were is the bathroom and the bar tender said, "Strait on your right." But the guy went on his left and when he entered the room he slipped and feel in the swimming pool and said, "Don't flush don't flush!"
Vote:
has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men

Similar jokes

See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.

A man has came over to his wife in a request. She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants. 3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
Vote:
has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, wife
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
Vote:
has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men, time
4 gay guys walk into a bar and notice there is one stool left. One gay guy suggest to play rock, paper, scissors and the other gay guy says. "Stop all this nonsense. Lets just flip the stool over."
Vote:
has 69.60 % from 93 votes. More jokes about: bar, gay, men
Susan was having a tough day and after returning home she started complaining. She said to her husband, "Nobody loves me….nobody cares for me..the whole world hates me!" Her husband, watching TV said casually: "That’s not true dear. You are not that famous that whole world hates you. Some people don’t even know you."
Vote:
has 73.91 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: husband, love, men
Men have two emotions: hungry and horny. So if you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
Vote:
has 78.42 % from 160 votes. More jokes about: men
Women prefer the simple things in life… like men.
Vote:
has 82.81 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
Three guys are at a restaurant, all with their girlfriends. The first guy, thinking he is all suave, says to his girlfriend, "Could you pass me the honey?...Honey." Now, the second guy, copying the first, says to his girlfriend, "Could you pass me the sugar?...Sugar." So now, the third guy is under pressure. He has to come up with something good. After, a minute of thinking he says to his girlfriend, "Pass me the pork...pig."
Vote:
has 70.45 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: men
Two bored casino dealers were waiting at the craps tables for players when a gorgeous blonde lady walked in and asked if they minded if she bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She said, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely naked." With that, she stripped off all her clothes and then rolled the dice while yelling "Come on baby, momma needs new clothes!" She then jumped up and down, hugging each of the casino dealers while yelling "YES, I WIN! I CAN'T BELIEVE IT, I WIN!!" With that, she picked up her winnings and clothes and quickly left. The dealers stood there staring at each other dumbfounded, until one finally asked the other, "What the hell did she roll anyway?" The second dealer answered, "I thought you were paying attention!"
Vote:
has 83.94 % from 92 votes. More jokes about: men
After being away on business, Tim thought it would be nice to bring his wife a little gift. "How about some perfume?" he asked the cosmetics clerk. She showed him a $50.00 bottle. "That’s a bit much," said Tim, so she returned with a smaller bottle for $30.00. "That’s still quite a bit," Tim complained. Growing annoyed, the clerk brought out a tiny $15.00 bottle. "What I mean," said Tim, "is I’d like to see something really cheap." The clerk handed him a mirror.
Vote:
has 69.86 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men
How do you know if your man is dead? The sex is the same, but there's less ironing.
Vote:
has 35.23 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men