One roomate said to another, “Man, this morning I woke up with white crud around my mouth!”
The other roomate said, “Oh, that's my fault, I guess I missed!”
Vote:
Similar jokes
See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes.
A pollock walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist if he sells condoms.
We have some for 75 cents a peace.
The man asks for two.
The pharmacist calculates the total and says, "That will be $1.58 with tax, sir."
The pollock says, "Oh, these come with tacks? I was wondering how you keep them on."
Vote:
There once was a girl named Suzy Brown
Said no one could lay her down.
Over the hill came Piss Paul Pete,
With forty pounds of swinging meat.
He took her in the long tall grass,
Shoved his dick right up her ass.
Then she blew one gnarly fart,
Blew his ball two feet apart.
Over the hill went Piss Paul Pete,
With forty pounds of shredded meat.
Vote:
Yo Mama so hairy, when she shaved her legs, your dad thought she got a new carpet.
Vote:
Q: How is a pussy like a grapefruit?
A: The best ones squirt when you eat them.
Vote:
What's black, smells and has 17 tits?
The bin bags outside the breast cancer ward.
Vote:
Q: What happened to the Native American who drank too much tea?
A: He drowned in his own tea pe
Vote:
What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.
Vote:
what is the diffrent between a chicken and a prostute
chicken goes cockadoodle do
prostute goes any cock will do.
Vote:
Two girls take a walk on a hot summer day.
They see an old lady sitting in front of her house eating watermelon.
They notice she isn't wearing any panties.
"Is it cooler without panties?" they ask.
She says, "I don't know if it's cooler, but it sure keeps the flies off the watermelon."
Vote:
A pianist was hired to play background music for a movie.
When it was completed he asked when and where he could see the picture.
The producer sheepishly confessed that it was actually a porn film and it was due out in a month.
A month later, the musician went to a porn theatre to see the adult movie.
With his collar up and dark glasses on, he took a seat in the back row of the adult cinema, next to a couple who also seemed to be in disguise.
The movie was even raunchier than he had feared, featuring group sex, S/M, bondage and even a dog.
After a while watching the adult movie, the embarrassed pianist turned to the couple and said, "I'm only here to listen to the music."
"Yeah?" replied the man. "We're only here to see our dog."