Chuck Norris uses paper to cut scissors.
911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
Chuck Norris makes his own Girl Scout cookies using real Girl Scouts.
One day Chuck Norris went into Wal Mart. The clerk told him to have a nice day. The next day the clerk was found dead. The police asked Chuck Norris if he killed her and he said yes so they asked him why. He said " Nobody tells Chuck Norris what to do"
Chuck Norris didn't shoot the sheriff, but he roundhouse kicked the deputy.
Bears only poop in the woods when Chuck Norris says its ok..
Chuck Norris is so hot he makes the sun sweat.
Chuck Norris can put 13 eggs in a dozen carton.
Chuck Norris doesn't need his seatbelt becouse no one is stupid enough to hit him.
Chuck Norris doesn't eat honey. He chews bees...
Using a novelty invisible dog leash and collar Chuck Norris won the Westminster Dog Show.