Q: What is a thespian pony?
A: A little horse play
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What is a chameleon's motto?
A change is as good as a rest.
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday?
A merry dairy.
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet.
What are they thinking?
The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet.
He doesn’t want to talk.
May be he’s get tired of me.
He doesn’t love me anymore.
He’s probably got someone else.
I see.
We’ll have to separate each other."
The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling.
Wow!
How keep it there and don’t fall?"
Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
A: Becuase the "P" is silent.
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy.
They see two dogs going at it.
The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?"
The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy."
That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama!
The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?"
He says "Oh, were making it a baby."
The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
Yo mama so stupid that she mourned wen we slaughtered a goat for Cristmas.
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really.
Q: What would you get if you cross a trumpet and a serpent?
A: A snake in the brass.
Jesse starts wailing to the vet, "you gotta save my dog, he looks real bad - please you just gotta!"
"There, there Jesse, your dog just has a broken hip he'll be fine in no time.
My fee, of course, will be $1,500."
Jesse starts to wail - "oh, my dog's going to die!!!"
Fear of spiders is aracnaphobia, fear of tight spaces is chlaustraphobia, fear of Chuck Norris is called Logic
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