Chuck Norris fires Donald Trump.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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They once made a "Chuck Norris" brand toilet paper, but it wouldn't take shit from anybody.
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Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Chuck Norris won a staring contest with his eyes closed.
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Chuck Norris does not listen to lectures.
Lectures listen to Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris does not masturbate, because there is no greater pleasure than being Chuck Norris.
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In an attempt to end WWII, President Harry Truman had Chuck Norris parachuted into Hiroshima and Nagasaki.
Sept. 2, 1945, the Japanese surrendered.
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Chuck Norris has the greatest Poker-Face of all time.
He won the 1983 World Series of Poker, despite holding only a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoloy card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game UNO.
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Chuck Norris's motorcycle has 4WD.
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